Sec 3 2013 Bintan Camp ! ❤❤❤

Hi! ❤❤❤

Returned back from Bintan Camp yesterday! :---) ultra ultra happy and kind of sad that we had to leave though, 3 days passed so quickly! :(

Day 1 :
We gathered in school at 6.25 ( so early -_- ) then my class went off to Tanah Merah ferry terminal! Ultra tired on the way there so I slept a little . A little because the bus was noisy. LOL. Then we reached the terminal and we were waiting for the ferry until I want to punch the guy who made us come so early just to wait! >:( then we boarded the ferry and we were off to Bintan! :D
Once we reached the ferry terminal at Bintan, we boarded the bus to Loola Resort. There were 21 people in the bus, 20 students plus 1 teacher. The majority of the passengers were girls and then we had Mr. Vanan, Dennis and Edwin on the bus as well. On the bus I started to feel ultra ultra uncomfortable. Like my stomach was flipping over and all my food contents were all spilled out LOL Ookay sounds so weird but anyway. Then I tried to sleep, BUT THE BUS RIDE WAS SO BUMPY AND ANNOYING that I couldn't sleep. :( and what's worse there's no Internet for me to access my precious darling fanfics :( I felt so sad LOL just kidding. Then we talked about stuff on the bus, like fanfics and studies. And we sang songs too. LOL. But I was still tired but whatever. The bus ride took .. Two hours? I think so. Then when we reached Loola I was like WOW but the toilet made me go :( LOL.
After settling in, we went for CIP which is TREE PLANTING! And we went on another bus ride to the tree plantation <- is that what you call it? And wow it was tremendously hot and scorching and boiling and burning I felt like I was being cooked alive. We planted 1020 trees! Or was it 1050. I forgot. Sorry.
Then we went back to the resort and took a nice shower to get rid of all the dirt and sweat and sand and whatever that was present on my body that needed to be cleaned off.
Slept at the bottom bunk though. Wasn't really good because it was stuffy and dark and smelly (yes the shoes). But I had privacy (because I changed my shirt in the dorm LOL but only once). Don't you go have perverted thoughts yo. :P

Day 2:
I tell you, the second day was like one of the best! Well actually all of the days spent there were amazing.
The first activity we had in the morning was ... /drumroll/ COCONUT TREE CLIMBING! It was ultra fun I tell you but heh heh I didn't climb all the way up cause my limbs felt like they had no more energy in them. LOL sorry.
The second activity was... OBSTACLE COURSE! Was like 'ahhh I can't do it I'm gonna fall to my death my limbs are gonna fail me' yep. And lol I finished the course haha.
The third activity was DRAGON BOAT! :D but it was scorching hot at that time but who cares we went on to row the boat BUT I DRANK A LOT OF SEA WATER AND THEY GOT INTO MY EYES TOO :(
And the fourth was KAYAKING! Three people in the kayak and me Theresia Eugina grouped together. It was so ultra fun okay!
The fifth activity was SKYWALK! :D it was so so so so fun and amazing and exciting and thrilling and just. WOW. (Fantastic baby) I climbed up the tree with a ladder of course and at first I couldn't walk to the centre of the balancing beam or whatever you call it. I was terrified and couldn't move cause I kept looking at the ground . Then I started moving towards the centre while walking LIKE A CRAB. Like when we do plié during dance? Yup. I walked like that. Couldn't believe lol. And I moved to the centre without dropping midway thank goodness or I would have been scared out of my pants. And yup I at first could not jump off but heh I found the courage to fall off in the end and WOW I screamed like there was no tomorrow like high pitched and all i thought I was gonna die! But it was very fun and thrilling and I enjoyed it a lot. I Would definitely love to do it again and again and again if given the chance.
The last activity of the day was ... FLYING FOX! Was the fourth one to try it and wow the height scared me at first I was like shrieking and scared to jump off LOL. But I still jumped off in the end I was like 'okay one two three!' And I flew. For a few seconds. And I forgot to do the L-shaped position and I crashed into the water without injuries though hah. I opened my eyes throughout the hole flying process and I was traumatized for one second and I was still screaming my head off while flying. I think it was worse then the skywalk scream lol. And then we were like swimming in the pool lol and got ultra wet heh. But it was thrilling nonetheless. :)

Day 3:
We went for sea flat walk in the morning at 6 plus -_- didn't have a very good sleep though so I woke up feeling a bit cranky. Oops. But at least I didn't start yelling at people and throwing stuff right. :) so I'm still a nice person despite feeling cranky. Woohoo. Saw sea cucumbers, BABAY OCTOPUS, crabs and starfishes! Ultra cool I tell you but the negative thing was the SAND. I felt like burning my shoes because of the sand. Wait. Is sand silicon dioxide? Okay okay. Then we had breakfast and off to BOOM NET!!! BOOM NET IS SO FUN I TELL YOU I KEPT ON JUMPNG OFF LIKE COMMITTING SUICIDE WOOHOO I FEEL LIKE A FLYING PENGUIN WOW PENGUINS CAN FLY WOW OH IT'S JUST ME WOW. Ultra amazing. When I did level one I was like wow this is easy. But hey. When it was level two I was freaking out cause I didn't see the height. Hey. It was high. Not as high as skywalk or flying fox but it's the sea we are talking about here. So deep and mysterious. But there was the net there lah. Sp I jumped off and I screamed lol. And I realized that I kept on screaming during camp. Heh. And it was so addictive I had to keep going and jump off. Jumped like more than 10 times and THE LAST PART IS THE ONE THAT WAS THE MOST FUN ONE! Woohoo I was enjoying the lat part so much I felt like I was flying in the water and sometimes I felt like I was like trying to survive in a land filled with horrible stuff because I was clinging onto the net like there was no tomorrow and it was so crowded. LOL. And then we got the captain to let us play it again and yes we played that again woohoo. And we went back to the resort and took a nice shower before having lunch and heading back to Singapore . :)

So that's all for camp. Bye! :)

I need to vent all my frustrations before I get a mental breakdown

Hi.

Not in a very happy mood today I would say. You know why?

BECAUSE I FREAKING FAILED AMATH. BY TWO MARKS. BECAUSE I WAS CARELESS. AND I WAS LAST IN CLASS. THE ONLY PERSON WHO FAILED. 100PLUS IN COHORT.





... and I studied so hard for it.

When I saw my score I was like 'someone please can someone stab me to pull me out of this shit I know this is a nightmare right someone please just stab me punch me slap me kick me scold me yell at me slit my wrists for me' all because I had never expected myself to get this score.

Just because I studied so hard for it.

But obviously studying Hard for it doesn't equate to extremely good results right.

Because it had very much proven to me that, no matter how hard you study, it still doesn't make me ( yes I think this only applies to me and me alone ) do well.

None of my scores hit 75. The highest was only 74. Can someone just kill me.

Goodness I feel like crying even as I type this.

It felt a whole lot more worse than when I got back physics.

It felt like a thousand a million a gazillion times worse.

All because I failed amath.

And because I was so careless, and my brain couldn't think of the correct solution.

I know it may sound like I'm some attention seeking slut or geek or whatever sails your boat, but. My eyes were tearing up when I got back the paper, and then halfway through I thought I was gonna cry and embarrass myself in class, but no I controlled the urge to just let my tears fall but no. During recess I went to Xuanting and started crying. I just kept crying and crying, and I didn't even care whether people were judging me or not. I was really really really upset. It felt as though I got betrayed. After studying so hard, this is what I get? Last in class? Really? Im not saying being last in class is bad but I am the only person who failed. I felt really really betrayed, like I just got stabbed in the back by my best friend, I felt really upset. I just kept crying and crying and I had no appetite. I was like, just let me starve to death. I just want to lock myself in my room and once again attempt to slit my wrists. I just want myself to do well, is that bad? I may sound like I'm some slut who is always heartbroken or whatever, but yes I did try to persuade myself to slit my wrists due to certain reasons which I'm obviously not gonna talk about. Yes I do want to slit my wrists and just die.i don't know. The society is judging me. The world is judging me. Everyone is judging me. Who else doesn't judge? I think even my 7 year old sister has learnt how to judge.

I guess I just sound like some depressed bitch who is trying to gain attention. But no I definitely not want attention, it's too troublesome. If you don't want to read such crap, guess what. You can always not visit this website ever again. As simple as that.

Bye.

Sunday, 10 March 2013 ❤

Hey people :---)

It's me I'm backkkkk :)

Lets just say that I kind of detest my common test one results so far. Ugh. I don't even want to talk about it. Don't get me started, or else I'll be ranting away like a nagging mummy. Yup. My results (so far!) are really not impressive. Like please, 26.5/50 for physics paper. Aren't I impressive. Yup. Okay but my other test marks will help me to pull up the overall, so I guess I'm not really afraid..

Oh look. I'm starting to rant. That just isn't the right thing to do, right? I can't be boring you with my rants yeah?

Even though I keep telling myself that I shouldn't get started on this topic on scores, I still can't help but to rant a little. So here goes. If you don't want to read about my rant feel free to exit this page while I continue my rant.

So yup. Lets get started (I'm absolutely in the mood for a rant now).

When I got back my physics paper. I was like, 'OH MY FLYING FISH FLYING MACAROONS FLYING SHIT FLYING TABLES FLYING CHAIRS I WANT TO FLIP THE WHOLE UNIVERSE BECAUSE I GOT 25.5/50'. But later I got 26.5/50, but yep. I AM IN DEEP SHIT. WAIST DEEP SOME MORE. I can't possibly tell my mom that I barely passed my physics paper, right? I can foresee that my mom will scold me and ground me and worse, confiscate my phone! My source of entertainment, communication and whatnot! So I didn't tell my mom my physics, LOL. Didn't want her to start flipping yeah? And then when teacher was about to go through the paper I was like on the verge of breaking down already. YES IM NOT KIDDING I AM VERY SERIOUS HERE I SWEAR MY EYES WERE FILLED WITH WATER. no my eyes weren't sweating. But I managed to let the water in my eyes dry up and continued with the review of the paper. I really couldn't believe it. I wouldn't say that my sec2 physics score has a huge influence on my physics score now, but, shouldn't there be some... Link in between? Like I got 86 last year, I shouldn't fare too badly right? (Sorry if I'm not making any sense to you) I was totally TOTALLY disappointed with myself, I really really really felt like killing myself and crying and just, flip shit.

Okay. Enough of physics.

It's EMath's turn now!

I absolutely detest my emath score okay like I WAS SO CARELESS I GOT A 26/35 AND AN ANGRY FACE! 74% like WHIUT. :(

Chemistry got 34/50 like whyyyyyyyy.

All in all, I AM VERY VERY VERY VERY CARELESS. like WHY. WHY. WHY. WHY. WHY. WHY. WHAT HAPPENED. WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN. WHY DID THIS HAPPEN. WHO CAUSED THIS? me.

I was on the verge of breaking down. No joke. I was like asking myself why am I here in school why did I do this why did I do that. Like a whole bunch of why's.

WHY.

I can only blame myself for being careless.

Bye. Not in the mood to type anymore.

Common test 1!!!

Yo people!

See I am updating my blog now! I'm a nice girl, aren't I? :3

Nothing mug to say though, I can only say that MARCH IS HERE! And of course there is common test! :( today is the second day of common test, 4 papers cleared with 4 more to go :)

Everyone, do well for common test yeah? :)

加油！ :-------)

Oh maybe I should be emo for a while:
有时候我真的觉得失落无助，知道自己不应该这么做，但我依然这么做。有时候，我觉得自己很傻，傻到连一个三岁小孩都能看得出。(okay didn't really know why I typed this, just some emotions I suppose) 有时候，我会问我自己，读书读到如此辛苦，读书读到自己想要从一座山上跳下来，结束自己的生命，这样的读法，是我要的吗？要读书就读嘛，何必要折磨自己呢？何必要为了考不好一个小测验而感到担心，感到伤心呢？我为何要这么做？我为何要进这一班，是我变的紧张兮兮的，每一次的测验都要一直读一直读，读不完就开始担心了，怕考的不理想。
今天，杨老师叫同学读他的作品。他的作文的确很好，我也承认，我能够写到这样好的文章的可能性不高。但老师为何需要这么样拐弯抹角的方式来告诉我们，我们不够他好？有一次，老师分回了华文测验，第一和第二名都来自华文文学的，我是第三名（后来成了第二名，因为之前的第二名的分数又改变，比我的还低）。老师说，第一和第二名都是华文文学的，这代表着什么？ 听了，我感到有些生气。为何要拐弯抹角的说他们很好，因为他们是读华文文学的？为何？

Okay, enough of my ranting in honest lol so tired of typing in Chinese kkay bye see you next time!